Stolen Away
by MegGonagall
Summary: I never loved anyone the way I had loved Remus Lupin, and I knew that I would never love anyone in that way again. Story cover by vandal.@ The-Dark-Arts . net
_The title comes from the song Stolen Away on 55th &3rd by the Dave Matthews Band. The story is also loosely based off of the song, so I suggest listening to it either before, or during reading._

The Weasley boy's shriek of terror sounded throughout the castle like the cry of a Mandrake, and if I had not escaped from there quickly enough, it would have proven to be just as deadly – for me, at least.

Maybe the young Weasley would have thought it had just been a dream, I tried to convince myself as I stumbled backwards. I couldn't have been caught there. Not that way. Not brandishing a knife like the madman they painted me to be, covered in a layer of filth, with murder in my heart. Harry needed to know, I needed the opportunity to explain properly when the time was right. I had to get out of there.

Without any conscious effort on my part, I found myself shrinking; it had become second nature to me - fur began to sprout out from my skin as my back curved painfully and forced me forward onto all four legs. A small whine escaped my lips as I sprinted down the stairs and out of the circular room I used to call home. Never had I imagined in my youth that Gryffindor tower would become a taboo - a place forbidden and unsafe. But then again, there were a plethora of unbearably horrible things I'd never anticipated happening, during my carefree days, that ended up becoming my reality.

As I padded down the corridor, I heard footsteps coming my way. Quickly I ducked into a shadow and tried to stifle my panting that would have been sure to give me away. True, no one would have known it was me - well, almost no one. There was currently one professor who would have recognized me immediately. I wasn't a spiritual or religious man by any means, but I prayed that it wasn't him.

To my relief, it turned out to be Professor McGonagall. The look on her face immediately sent me back to a simpler time. Her lips were pressed together so tightly they were nearly nonexistent, and wisps of her now grey hair escaped from her bonnet. A quick flash of James and myself, sat across from her desk, earning yet another detention, came into my mind.

White hot anger bubbled in my chest and threatened to expel out of my mouth in the form of a growl at the thought of James. It only served to remind me of my purpose in the castle that evening. Peter Pettigrew – the traitorous scum that he was – had been missing from the boys' dormitory. He had to have realized I would have come for him, the moment it was announced in the papers that I had escaped.

I knew it would not be long before McGonagall was made aware of my presence in the castle, and surely she would alarm the rest of the staff to the news as well. I had to move; hide.

A rational man would have left the castle immediately, but I had never been referred to as such.

As I made my way through the dark and empty hallways, I could not help but to think that he would be searching for me as well. _Remus…_ How could he have ever believed me to do the things I was accused of? After all that we had gone through and everything that we shared! I always believed - hoped - that he would have fought for me. That he would have shouted of my innocence from the rooftops. But sadly that never happened. Remus disappeared, from what I'd heard, for quite some time after it happened. After Pettigrew destroyed everything we held dear.

More voices started to fill the hallways; it seemed as if the entire school was headed for The Great Hall. How silly of the teachers, like I would have ever harmed an innocent child. It was still hard to believe at times that the world saw me as a less than human.

With all of the students being led to a _safe place,_ I knew it would not be long until the search for me was underway. Quickly I began running to a place I used to hide quite often, normally after a night of mischief making, to avoid being caught.

A part of me had to admit, it was quite exhilarating - the chase.

After a few minutes I was standing in the Astronomy Tower. It was like nothing changed; it looked exactly as it had the last time I was there. I could almost feel the ghosts of my younger self and Remus hovering all around. Jerkily I shook my head, determined not to lose myself in thoughts of what was, or what could have been. I had to hide. To my left was a small hole, just large enough for me to fit into in my dog form.

I backed my way inside just in time. My heart raced with fear and adrenaline as I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

As much as I hoped it wasn't him, there was a strong part of me that wished it would be. A part of me wanted to confront him and demand how he so easily believed me to be a traitor. I, who had been nothing but fiercely loyal and devoted to him - to all of them! They were my family and Remus was my life. Surely he should have realized that I would have died before selling out and betraying my friends; my _everything._

My chest heaved and I had to bite down on my tongue to avoid howling in anger. Then suddenly the footsteps came to a halt and I chanced crawling out a bit to see who it was.

I froze.

When I saw his face, none of it mattered any longer. Not his betrayal – his doubt in me, nor the twelve years I sat rotting in that literal hell hole, with the whole world believing me to be a murderer; none of it. It was as if the universe suddenly aligned and everything in the world made sense again. The entirety of all existence was there in his eyes. And in that moment all of the anger, the fear and the anguish faded away.

He looked the same… Well, not entirely. His hair had hints of grey, and there were far more lines and scars marring his perfect face than there had been last time I had seen him. But he was still Remus. I felt it. I felt _him._

I didn't know what drew us both there. Perhaps he had felt my presence as strongly as I'd felt his. I assumed that had to have been what it was, because I could not think of any other reason Remus would have come to the one place where we had truly been ourselves. Where I would drop my nonchalant façade, and where his insecurities always disappeared. The place where we had been the most vulnerable – where we had fallen in love.

He sank down slowly against a wall; rested his head in his hands. I could not remember a time that I'd seen him look so defeated. Every inch of me yearned to call out to him, to take him in my arms and let him know that it would all be alright. But even I couldn't fool myself into thinking that was true. Besides, if he saw me, I'm sure he wouldn't hesitate to turn his wand on me. Afterall, he still believed James and Lily's deaths were my fault.

As I saw him sat in that spot, _our spot,_ I couldn't help but to think of what once was.

 _Remus rested his head on my shoulder, his hair gently tickling my cheek. I smiled to myself, enjoying the warmth and comfort his body brought me._

 _I stroked his hair softly and a small hum of contentment sounded deep in his throat. The sound of it sent a shiver down my spine. I leaned down and placed my lips on the crown of his head and whispered, "Put that book down a minute, yeah?"_

 _Remus sighed deeply as he slowly closed the book he was reading and placed it next to him on the ground. He looked up at me with a burning fire in his eyes._

 _I didn't hesitate. I placed my hand under his chin and roughly brought my lips onto his. A small groan escaped me as I felt his warm hands travel under my shirt and up the sides of my torso. An electricity shot through me, and before I knew it, I lowered Remus to the ground and hovered myself over him._

 _Lightly I traced my tongue down his neck and reveled in the feel of him shivering beneath me. I had had more than a few partners during my time at Hogwarts, but none of them ever elicited such feelings in me the way Remus had. It was as if he could set my soul on fire, and the two of us together could set the world ablaze. He was the beacon of light I had always searched for in a world that had been so bleak and dark for most of my life. And I also liked to think I was the same for him._

 _Much later, but also all too soon, Remus and I sat back up against the wall, breathing heavily and glistening with sweat. He smiled widely and his eyes were lit with so much love I felt like my own heart would burst. If only I could have bottled that feeling he gave me when he smiled in that way, I could have made millions of galleons._

 _Remus leaned over and pressed his lips softly on my cheek. "I love you, Sirius," he said in a gravely voice as he pulled away._

A tear left my eye thinking of better times. I never loved anyone the way I had loved Remus Lupin, and I knew that I would never love anyone in that way again. I wondered if he still cared for me, even after all of these years.  
"Oh Sirius," Remus exhaled from across the room.

My body when cold. Had he spotted me?

Remus' head was still cradled in his hands; my panic wore off as I realized he had not seen me. Though a longing unlike I had ever felt before had taken its place.

"How?" Remus continued speaking to himself. "After everything - How could…" he trailed off.

Stupidly I pulled myself partly out of my hiding spot; I was ready to transform and reveal myself. He had sounded so desperate for answers, and I wanted nothing more than to give them to him.

Luckily common sense - for once - forced me back inside my hole. There would be a time I could tell him, but now was not it. Not when a dozen or so of the most powerful witches and wizards were currently searching for me.

I would have to be patient, which was certainly never one of my strong points.

Remus and I must have both sat in the astronomy tower for at least an hour that evening. Not reaching out to him, touching him or consoling him, was one of the hardest things I had ever done in my lifetime.

I wanted to hate him. More than anything in the world I wanted to, yet I could not bring myself to hate him. I had to remind myself, that for a moment in time, I believed he might have been the traitor. How could I be angry with him for thinking the same of me? Especially when the evidence was so completely overwhelming.

One day he would know the truth. If it would be the last thing I'd ever do, Remus would know that I had never betrayed him and never stopped loving him. Even if it killed me.


End file.
